Pleasant People Project #1: Wendy

In 2011, just a few weeks before Christmas, the unthinkable happened to Wendy. Her thirteen-year-old son, Zach, died.

The youngest of their four children, Zach was Wendy's baby, the son she doted on. He was a straight-A student and friend to many. He was also his dad's best friend and companion in everything adventurous.

And now he was gone.

Reeling with disbelief over his absence, Wendy went through immense grief. As other family members dealt with their own pain, she was faced with the brunt of funeral preparations and other responsibilities when really, all she wanted to do was focus on her own distress.

So why am I telling you this incredibly sad story?

Because of how Wendy turned the hardest event in her life for the good.

Wendy. Photo used with permission.

Shortly after Zach's death, Wendy was in line at the grocery store. Lost in her own painful thoughts and waiting for her turn to come in the check-out line, she ignored what was going on around her until a crash startled her into awareness.

A disabled woman, trying to steer her motorized shopping cart around, had bumped a display and brought it crashing down. Wendy's first thought was to ignore the situation. I mean, she had just lost her son; I think we'd all agree she had a right to let someone else, someone who wasn't hurting so much and so deeply, help that accident-prone lady.

Then Wendy noticed the woman in front of her. She was looking at the motorized cart-ridden woman with disdain.

And that one merciless look pushed Wendy into action. She left her place in line and helped the woman who had knocked down the display.

From that day when she lost her place in line, she lost a bit of her grief as well. Even though there were ups and downs in a roller coaster of daily emotions, Wendy strove to help others who were grieving. Others who were lost in their own pain and who needed someone else, someone who understood, to help pull themselves out from their pain and feel hope.

And Wendy has been that hope for many.

Thanks to all the connections of Facebook, word of mouth, and blogging, people who knew of other tragedies started asking Wendy to reach out to their friends and loved ones. And she has. She's been able to tell grievers what they're feeling is normal; that every emotion is okay to experience and that they aren't crazy for grieving their own particular way. As she's empathized, she's shown them there is hope for a better tomorrow.

It's one thing to logically know your sadness and pain will eventually dim in the future. But when someone who has suffered in a similar manner tells you that the future really is brighter, it makes the logical seem believable. And Wendy has brought that hope and belief to several grieving families throughout the country.

Now, Wendy is quick to point out that her story isn't a unique one. Others have lost children and will continue to do so (darn it). But I believe Wendy's story is special because of how she chose to react in her grief. Instead of blaming God for what happened, Wendy turned to Him. She believes we all have choices in how we move forward from life's difficult situations. Her choice was to press forward, with a steadfast faith in Jesus Christ, and to trust in Him with all her heart (one of her favorite scriptures is Proverbs 5:6). By doing so, Wendy survived and found hope during her darkest moments.

The other thing that helped Wendy, and continues to do so, is her belief that she will see Zach again. 

One of the last photos taken of Zach. Photo used with permission.

One of Wendy's friends told me she wished everyone was lucky enough to have a "Wendy friend." I hope reading a little about Wendy's story has inspired a few of you to try to be that friend to others. Because it's inspired me.

Who has made your life better? Who is a joy to be around and makes life a more pleasant place? Tell me about the people who inspire you at agr.people@gmail dot com so I can share their story. Reading about incredible people helps inspire others to be better. So help me share the goodness.